tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63001198429172660642024-03-05T14:23:17.036-08:00rich4thoughtA few thoughts, some novel - some notRichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.comBlogger50125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-69659898580704641552015-05-01T02:46:00.002-07:002015-05-01T03:08:18.323-07:00It's been a while...My thanks to Paul, for after a very long time, his recent post has made me realise I may as well continue the story I began here. <br />
The truth is, the failure of my last dose of interferon treatment knocked me a great deal. It took about a year to recover. I was in a dark place, I admit. Since then I've tried to enjoy as full a life as I can. Oddly, because I was no longer on treatment, I felt better than for years and have been in a happier place since. <br />
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That said, my liver is not in good shape. Fibroscans, assesing cirrhosis, are so high the doctors have stopped testing me. I have been waiting for the tormented organ to give up and get a transplant.<br />
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However, recently a new set of drugs have appeared. These drugs act on the lifecycle of the virus and have proved to been very effective. They quote 95% "cure" rates. All well and good, but the treatment is so new and expensive ($1,000 a pill) many countries are reluctant to use them. The good news is that NICE has now approved it and NHS England have stumped up a bit of cash for those in dire need. That includes yours truly. <br />
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I was told by my consultant I would start on the drug know as Harvoni last Tuesday. Unfortunately, at the last minute, the funding was suspended because of the election! I know it sounds odd, but it's true, and I'm not alone in being affected, read here... <a href="http://www.pmlive.com/pharma_news/uk_market_access_issues_put_on_hold_during_election_710621">NHS HIATUS</a> <br />
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So, once again I am in limbo. Meanwhile the virus continues to attack my body and drain all energy. Of course there is no guarantee the new treatment will work, but I really need to get on with it ASAP.<br />
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I'll try and post more regularly about this and other things.<br />
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Thanks for listening.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-89816597109210970812011-10-05T06:57:00.000-07:002011-10-05T06:57:48.593-07:00No newsSlightly disappointed about yesterday's trip to the hospital. I thought they were going to give me a viral load result from my two weeks blood test, but they did not take one! The test is clearly very expensive and they only do it when absolutely necessary. So, still no idea how the treatment is working. I can confidently say that I will know next Tuesday. The all important blood has been extracted and is laying in a lab somewhere in St Thomas's Hospital. Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-91613878150594138402011-10-02T13:00:00.001-07:002011-10-05T06:45:13.688-07:00HopeWell, as week four enters it's final days I am feeling hopeful. The recent blood test which revealed my baseline viral load as 1 million was good news on two accounts.
When I began treatment before it was at 4 million so one assumes 1m will be easier to be rid of. Secondly 1m was the best drop that I achieved last time and I am pleased that my body was able to keep it at that level - one would normally expect it to rise back to previous levels after coming off treatment.
If I do manage to knock the virus down to undetectable, this evidence implies, that it will remain there.
Of course the fact remains that last time I could not get rid of that last 1m, but I think I was just exhausted by the process. This time it has not been so onerous. Naturally all hinges on my week four blood test. However I should get some kind of indication how things are going on Tuesday because I will
get my week two blood test results back then and I'm hoping for a significant drop in the load.
I have been pretty tired this week. Wednesday and Thursday as usual were the worst. Lots of headaches this time. I do worry that as the weeks go on there will be a culmantive effect. That happened last time. The sunny weather helped me keep a positive mood though.
I'll post how it goes on Tuesday. Fingers crossed. Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-12764621265956290152011-09-15T06:47:00.000-07:002011-09-15T06:47:48.927-07:00Week TwoI'm into my second week and feeling positive. Having read through my blog regarding the first few weeks last time, it seems the symptoms are much the same. Flu like symptoms after the interferon injection on the Tuesday night is followed mainly by a lack of appetite and lack of focus to do anything. I'm already fed up watching TV. The best thing to do seems to be to give myself some simple, short, task and then rest. I am keeping to a strict liver friendly diet for the first four weeks. I want my liver to concentrate on fighting the virus not digesting cheese and meat. I am also taking tons of minerals and vitamins to prevent all the mouth ulcers, skin rashes and hair loss that happened last time. Only time will tell if this strategy works. Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-10752785894196183322011-09-05T03:22:00.000-07:002011-09-05T03:24:58.783-07:00One More TryI am starting another round of Hep C treatment tomorrow.
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I was unsure about recording the ordeal again in this blog - wondering whether I could be bothered to write down the ordeal all over again let alone expect others to read it. However, I do know that many friends and family who will want to know wants going on (God bless you) and this saves me repeating the same info over and over again. So I will keep a record, but it will be less graphic than last time, just the basic facts as to what's going on.
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Let me start here by explaining why am I doing it when I said, after the last time, never again. First off is - the fact that according to tests done at the beginning of the year, the sclerosis in my liver has taken quite a nose dive. Second - there is a new drug: Boceprevir (also known as Victrelis) which improves the chances of success for patients who did not 'respond' satisfactorily first time by stopping the virus multiplying. (I am amongst the first 10 patients to be given it in the UK) Thirdly - the treatment protocol has changed, for the better.
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The new treatment therefore will go like this.
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Phase One: For the first four weeks I will be on Interferon and Ribaveron just as before. In that time I need to get what's called a one log drop which basically means if you begin will 7,000,000 viral load you've got to achieve a drop to 7,000. If you do not get to that then they stop treatment because they know its not going to work. As I did not achieve a one log drop in 4 weeks last time I think the chances of success are minimal for me and the whole treatment could be over by the beginning of October. Of course that's my head speaking, my heart say why not success this time, anything is possible.
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Phase Two: If you get through phase one they put you on the new drug Boceprevir for four weeks. At the end of this time you are expected to have achieved a viral load of zero. If not, again they will stop treatment because they know it will not work in the long run.
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Phase Three: If I am lucky enough to pass the eight weeks with a zero load then treatment on all three drugs will continue for around another 28 weeks making a total of 36 weeks treatment, though it could be more.
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The good new is that is past results indicate that if you get to phase three there is a whopping 80% chance of success. Which I think is the grim realities of being on treatment. Who knows this time next year I may be a man transformed.
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I'll let you know how I get on. Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-38085141565976783382010-09-18T02:15:00.000-07:002010-09-18T03:38:08.316-07:00Feeling OkayIt's been a year and a half since my interferon treatment ended, and I thought it was about time to report here how things are. After all there may be others out there in the blogosphere who have also found their treatment prematurely curtailed due to a poor response. Well, I can report it's not all bad. I actually feel better now than in a long time. I seem to have more energy and lucidity than before treatment. The reason for this remains a mystery to me. It would be nice to have a viral load test to see if it has remained at a lower level than before the start of treatment, but the drug companies don't seem to fund this kind of follow up, therefore the hospital won't do it. Anyway bottom line is I'm feeling okay. Sure I still need to rest some afternoons and if I get a cold or virus it really wipes me out, but otherwise I can live with it. That's not to say I wouldn't like more energy! It would be great to feel well enough to believe I could work again, but with all the things wrong with me, on top of the hep C, I never know how I am going to be one day to the next. It's very frustrating. Thankfully I have my writing. On that subject, I will have a short story appearing in the anthology HOOVERING THE ROOF 2 which will be available in November. And the first draft of 'Mr. Reed' is nearly finished. So watch this space...Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-19448518647396316582009-09-14T09:19:00.000-07:002009-09-14T09:28:42.340-07:00Deathless ExtractThought it was about time I got in the saddle again. <br /><br />An extract of my novel did get printed in the magazine 'One Eyed Grey' it looks very nice. Only problem is in the contents page they gave me the wrong name! I am called Richard Woodward instead of Woodhouse. Rather frustrating. I have agreed to do some readings at the up and coming Ghost Week through the mag. so perhaps that will be of more use. I've ben very busy doing stuff for the East Dulwich Writers Collection and being on Jury service. I'll post more about both of those soon.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-86530171621043475962009-05-27T04:55:00.000-07:002009-05-27T05:09:36.328-07:00Deathless update 01Well, the London magazine - One Eyed Grey - <span style="font-weight:bold;">is</span> featuring an excerpt from the book in its July issue. Which is nice. And Lulu have just contacted me to say they have chosen the book to go on the market place at Amazon.com. Which is also nice. So things are ticking along. <br /><br />I have been fighting off some virus (other than the usual) for the last couple of weeks so energy levels low and no writing to speak of. However this week I have been able to sort out the time line of 'Mr. Reed' and write more. <br /><br />I hope to start recording the Deathless pod casts next week. Though I am concerned about the gastroscopy I am having done on Wednesday. I gather its not very pleasant. The doctors are just checking I have no intestinal bleeding. I think its very unlikely I have. <br /><br />Never realised what a minefield web hosting is until today. I wanted to get a proper domain name etc. But its all so confusing I think I'll stick with my ISP free one for now.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-52026774839155881032009-05-11T05:56:00.000-07:002009-05-11T06:34:49.316-07:00Deathless is hereAt long last I have managed to make my first novel, Deathless, good enough to be available to the public. Get it through the publish-on-demand provider, lulu. Follow the link on the right and buy it! <br /><br />Deathless has not yet been picked up by any established publishers. The time has come for a second round of sending the manuscript out I guess. An onerous task. I have had an encouraging email from Macmillan new writers scheme but have yet to hear anything concrete yiegh or niegh. And the London Publication 'One Eye Grey' look like they may include an extract in their next issue. Fingers crossed. <br /><br />On my website I now have a trial recording of the opening of the book. It is my intention to read the entire novel and put on itunes as a podiobook. If I release one a week it will take about a year to complete. Now I have sussed out all my recording equipment I just need to record the first four episodes. If the response to those is good then I'll carry on. It may not make me any money, but it should raise my profile.<br /><br />I have stalled somewhat with my new project 'Mr.Reed' as I have been pondering on it. The voice I originally used for the piece now seems overblown. I wanted to bring in a Gothic tone but now feel I have gone about it the wrong way. This means even more rewriting!<br /><br />The other thing that has been delaying me is the need too write an account of events from Louise's perspective. This has been quite a challenge because obviously its female. hope I can pull it off. After reading 'Lucky' by Alice Sebold for inspiration I have begun to write. Though the content of Lucky bares little resemblance to Mr Reed, the tone and style have been helpful. It occured to me how my novel is almost the reverse of Seblod's memoir. Her life was completely altered by meeting a <strong>bad</strong> man, in mine Lousie's life is altered from meeting a <strong>good</strong> man. Though so different there are resonances. Watch this space...Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-51490413026853605012009-03-31T10:45:00.000-07:002009-04-02T01:36:49.278-07:00Three Months Post TreatmentIt is hard to believe so much time has passed. I feel guilty not keeping the blog going more regularly despite having little to say either medically or regarding Prometheus. However, there are few thing worth mentioning now. <br /><br />I'll put the medical matters here and the writing ones in a separate post. I saw my liver specialist today and gained a better understanding as to where I am. He confirmed that my recent fibroscans show that I have scarring of the liver. However, combined with my normal blood results he does not feel it is severe and puts it in the 'A' category on what's called the Child Pugh score (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child-Pugh_score). <br /><br />This comes as no surprise as someone who has had Hep for 30+ years. He did say that when you get in the 'B' category they begin to consider liver transplant. I asked was this inevitable. He confirmed it was. As to how long my damaged liver will last it is clearly hard to say. He said the average would be around ten years. Perhaps if I'm lucky I'll reach 65. Then it will be time for a change of liver. I asked how long that new liver would last, again he said about ten years.<br /><br />As for Hep C treatment. There is nothing they can do at present. There are new drugs coming through which should be available in three years or so, but they only have a 30 percent success rate at the moment. Will it be worth the heartache? How many more years will it really gain my worn out liver? Well I'll have to make that decision nearer the time. I was hoping for a viral load test, but he said it would not be worthwhile. Apparently the level of the Hep C virus has no bearing on the progression of the disease; unlike AIDS. This explained to me why they stopped treatment even though my viral load had dropped so much. Unless its at zero its not worth a lot apparantly. <br /><br />All that said. I have to admit to feeling better than before I went on treatment. Its been years since I have had such a clear head and such sustained energy. I have to admit to being pleased. It is one of the reasons I have achieved so much with my writing recently (see next post). Of course it comes with the fear that it will not last or is an aberration. While it is here though I intend to enjoy every minute.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-7916214838556716182009-01-18T03:52:00.000-08:002009-03-21T07:42:41.580-07:00Feeling BetterWhat a relief it is to not take the interferon and ribaviron. My energies are returning more every day and my brain beginning to stutter into life. Hooray. Got a well timed email from my Chinese Medicine Practitioner and have arranged to see her on Feb 2nd. She will put me back on track. TCM has been very helpful to me combating Hep C over the years and I hope it will aid me in my quest to keep my viral load down as low as it is now. A viral load of 200,000 may not be good enough for the docs but if I can keep it down to anything like that level I'll be a happy man. I am lucky the Yuan Clinic is so close. (see link)<br /><br />As for writing, I have printed off the whole of Mr Reed with a view of reading the whole thing prior to starting work on a Second Draft. Naturally, I have still been thinking about Prometheus and intend to develop detailed character backgrounds on the main characters. I want them really be grounded in me before beginning to write. I'll post the backgrounds here.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-75351916145385968062009-01-07T13:32:00.000-08:002009-01-09T09:13:06.703-08:00End of Chapter OneWell, that's it then. Treatment is over. I saw my nurse, discussed all the ins and outs and, despite my viral load steadily reducing, my Log Number was way too low. As their Hep C expert said in his email, 'continued treatment would be futile.' <br /><br />Having invested so much in this process I am naturally very disappointed. I recall at the beginning of researching Prometheus the issue of false hope arose. Now I understand it more deeply. It is odd how the mind creates all these unrealistic expectations. Even since finishing treatment I have had thoughts saying, 'The viral load is really low, perhaps I can clear it completely without the drugs from here, that would be one-in-the-eye of the doctors.' I guess its good to be positive, but one wonders where madness lays. <br /><br />Now, I need to be monitored to see what the long term effects of this treatment will be. At least I have learnt this form of treatment is of no benefit to me. Of course, there are rumours of new treatments coming along that may help me. I expect at some point in the not too distant future I will be going through all this again. Dare I hope for a positive outcome someday? As Chris commented, this is only success postponed. Though I am aware my age is against me. <br /><br />Speaking personally, I just want to get my life back. This difficult process has made me value living much more. It is clear my health is unlikely to ever improve much. This is the fittest I will ever be, so I need to enjoy it while I can. As long as my liver holds out I am determined to experience and enjoy this world.<br /><br />As for the blog, I feel this is only the end of Chapter One. I will concentrate on the development of the novel until the new treatments come along. My normal Hep C state is at least better than being on Interferon, so hopefully I should begin to write more. Completing 'Mr. Reed' and 'Prometheus' has become even more important for me. They will be something worthy of leaving behind. <br /><br />To everyone who has read and commented on the blog so far. Your support has been invaluable. I cannot express how grateful I am for it. I will try to continue to make the blog of some interest to you.<br /><br />May Fate be kind to you all and Evolution bless your offspring.<br /><br />This is not The End my friends.<br /><br />RichardRichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-14820561437454734002008-12-19T10:57:00.000-08:002009-01-01T12:45:17.279-08:00The ResultsI saw my doctor this afternoon regarding the week 12 results. The news was not good. The patient has to have a 2 point reduction in what they call the Log Value. Mine was only 1.24. In addition my viral load was much the same as at week 6 - it really should be down to zero by now. This means continued treatment will probably be unsuccessful. The doctor said said he would confirm the situation after talking with the liver specialist, "as he's the expert" <br />Thankfully L was with me when I received this news. I put a brave face on it but as we left the hospital I felt devastated. Something in me had been convinced the time was right for treatment and that it would work. <br /><br />When I got home I soon received the call. They doctors have decided to do another blood test on the 29th of December to try and discover a more definitive result. This course of action came as a surprise and I do not know if I feel happy or sad about it. Just before the call I was thinking, okay no more horrible drugs lets have a good Christmas maybe even a glass of wine. <br /><br />Now I fear getting through this stage. I am what is called a slow responder. This may mean remaining on treatment for up to 72 weeks and with a reduced prospects of success. Is it worth it I ask myself. <br /><br />Inside I had created this future where I would be Hep C free, renewed with energy and ready to get Mr. Reed published and work hard at being an author. Now I am faced with a very different future. <br /><br />And where does this leave Prometheus? Failier was not in the script. The story can't finish after 12 weeks. He needs to be free of his suffering. As my byline says above this novel idea was meant to be a positive outcome whether treatment succeeded or not. I just never unexpected it being truncated so soon. It just does not feel right. Perhaps the gods are playing with me and there will be a happy outcome after all. <br /><br /><br /><br />The only good thingRichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-4259597065562087512008-12-15T09:44:00.000-08:002008-12-15T13:50:23.366-08:00SUKI<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1k7lMuqJGsOANi8yQsqVM5yCsb3-oqrKU8KeYgq6ZoQ-6s5x1YGJrJ6yVViHbZlW6fEGvYPxcTSMDNPUh-evgotyQs5SlcQJquLxUrTBRlxYJIKpEx1pbV4PjRo2VV6reufBalElQ2rrc/s1600-h/IMG_1215.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1k7lMuqJGsOANi8yQsqVM5yCsb3-oqrKU8KeYgq6ZoQ-6s5x1YGJrJ6yVViHbZlW6fEGvYPxcTSMDNPUh-evgotyQs5SlcQJquLxUrTBRlxYJIKpEx1pbV4PjRo2VV6reufBalElQ2rrc/s320/IMG_1215.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280131575029719522" /></a><br />The family experienced a tragedy on Saturday. Our cat, Suki, died. <br /><br />L and I were woken up on Friday morning by Bessie yelling. Suki, who sleeps in her room, had just sneezed blood all over her. It was clear the cat was having some difficulty breathing, otherwise she appeared okay. L and B went to work/school. Despite feeling a rough that day I managed to take Suki to the vets. <br /><br />The vet thought it might be a fighting injury on her nose that was inflamed etc. I came home with a bunch of antibiotics hoping for the best. <br /><br />That evening I retreated to the backroom for some peace and quiet, ending up falling asleep there. B went to a sleep over. L found Suki in the night a little distressed and took her to bed with her. Saturday morning I was woken up by L yelling. Suki was in great distress; unable to breath or use her limbs properly, so was L.<br /><br />There followed a chaotic scene as we wondered what to do as our vet would not be open for another hour and a half. In the end we rushed to the nearest emergency vet. Within minutes we were told, by a very sleepy vet, that she had suffered a brain aneurysm. Her eyes no longer responded to light and she had loss the use of her limbs. We were advised to put her down. <br /><br />The speed of it all was quite a shock. When B came back from her sleep over she let out a primal scream I'll never forget. The rest of the day was spent in almost permanent tears. 'It's not fair, its not fair, she was so young,' B kept saying.<br />I tried to explain fairness did not come into it. <br /><br />A documentary I had watched the day before came to mind, about a catastrophe which took place 2,500 million years ago. The earth's crust exploded in the Russian Stepps causing such global warming that 95 percent of all life was wiped out. Ninety-five-percent. Where was the justice in that? <br /><br />As ever, I am finding, everything comes back to Prometheus. In 'Prometheus Bound' by Aischylos, the only work devoted entirely to Prometheus to have come down to us from antiquity, the old god is portrayed as someone who is suffering unjustly.<br /><br />'Oh holy Mother Earth, O air and sun, behold me. I am wronged,' he cries from his rock.<br /><br />Professor Kerenyi explains, 'But though man suffers like the beasts, his special mode of existence requires him to <strong></strong>suffer with a sense of injustice.<strong></strong>'<br /><br />Where this sense of fairness/injustice comes from is an interesting question. Is it a human construct or something that actually exists in the realm of the Gods and the universe? <br /><br />Perhaps it was not fair for Suki to die so soon. I will miss her. She kept me company in the many hours I spend in bed. She may have been a bit simple but she was very loving. Life seems such a fragile thing.<br /><br />Being a good little god myself, it is clear to me that in the book Heather will have to own a cat called Suki. It will be good to remember her that way. It will also bring in some of the themes discussed above.<br /><br />God bless you Suki - wherever you are.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-22880207137406203842008-12-12T04:43:00.000-08:002008-12-12T05:41:10.395-08:00Twelfth Jab Of ChristmasSo here I am, a quarter of the way through, I can't believe it. <br /><br />Saw my nurse yesterday, she was happy with my last blood tests. Everything has stabilised and there have even been some improvements. She also took blood for my all important week 12 test. I am hoping the results will be ready next Friday (19th)when I am due to see the Doc. If my viral load is down to zero then treatment continues, if not, it is likely I will have to stop.<br /><br />Though I have no scientific basis to say this, I feel its all going to be okay. It is very difficult to isolate my Hep. C symptoms from my treatment symptoms, but there are times when my brain seems to be working better than it has done for years. So I am positive. Only the lack of energy remains disabling. My appetite is far better than at the beginning - I am rarely nauseous these days.<br /><br />This week has been pretty good. Though I am still sensitive to too much noise etc I am able to cope with more. Watching Heroes exhausts me though. I gather Gordon Brown watches Heroes too. Only he thinks he can save the world without saving the cheerleader. <br /><br />Talking of TV. Did anyone understand the ending of Little Dorrit last night? I've never read the book and was totally confused as to what the BIG secret was.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-76448178747418164512008-12-03T14:15:00.000-08:002008-12-09T09:45:30.991-08:00Archetype of Human Existence<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-y88IGd99lW8cboUXf3Y78VhO_GN3Ex3brUJOQh_MHHoaR8ket5M7eS26PPjjpAU3bs2owx8FoeNjLC8OFLoXNNle5kSbLYIXNTNXAO9NE8UrtbYYybkocdruGaYDoSSPbbfyRa-OoY2N/s1600-h/k6167%5B1%5D.gif"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 151px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-y88IGd99lW8cboUXf3Y78VhO_GN3Ex3brUJOQh_MHHoaR8ket5M7eS26PPjjpAU3bs2owx8FoeNjLC8OFLoXNNle5kSbLYIXNTNXAO9NE8UrtbYYybkocdruGaYDoSSPbbfyRa-OoY2N/s200/k6167%5B1%5D.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277537288391894738" /></a><br />Be warned, I'm going to start pontificating now. I have started some background reading on Prometheus; thoughts and ideas are hitting me fast. I see no reason not confuse you too. <br /><br />I am halfway through 'Prometheus - Archetype Image of Human Existence' by Carl Kerenyi. The Professor clearly knows his Greek and it has been very helpful. The initial points I have taken so far are. <br /><br />1. "Prometheus, founder of the sacrifice, was a cheat and a thief; these traits are at the bottom of all the stories about him."<br /><br />This statement came as a bit of a surprise. Prometheus now-a-days is considered a clever and brave hero. This attitude is certainly seen in the Romantics handling of him. Why the change? Does it resonate with having less respect for God? <br /><br />2. The Titans, of which Prometheus was one, were a group of Gods that came before the Olympians. Zeus usurped them. This may explain why followers of him would suggest Prometheus was a thief. New religions tend to bash the old ones.<br /><br />3. The Titans seem to represent darkness, "exuberant virility", boundless pride and violence. Prometheus in particular had associations with the moon. Where as the Olympians were light. <br /><br />4. The liver, a large dark organ, represented darkness, Zeus's eagle represented the sun. The eating of the darkness by the sun and then the regeneration of the darkness throughout the day makes Prometheus's ordeal on the rock profound indeed. <br /><br />5. Prometheus was not that clever. Zeus was well aware the suffering that would follow all his trickery and theft. Like the humans he created he believed his ingenuity and guile would enable him to fool the Gods. But his actions always had profound negative affects. He appears not have the 'forethought' attributed to him for he was unable to see the full results of his actions. Perhaps his name has a touch of irony about it.<br /><br />Clearly he is a complicated character. I am thinking that in my incarnation of him he may have learnt some humility after his trials. Even remorse for what he has done to mankind. Unfortunately, in his desire to make amends, he resorts once more to his innate trickery. How human. Not content to serve.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-14737903788833932008-12-03T13:58:00.000-08:002008-12-03T14:15:17.669-08:00Five days of FluIt had to happen, I guess. Last week I mentioned my nasal passages were playing up. Well, from Thursday on I have really been laid up. All the usual flu symptoms though the worst thing was having a head on fire and being totally unable to breathe. As I am pretty anaemic already struggling for air is deeply unpleasant. Particularly when eating and trying to sleep. A sense of anxiety is always beneath the surface. The broken nights really got to me. Thankfully, last night I had a good sleep. Though my nasal passages are still dodgy I am at least able to breathe now. As I have said in the past you can never take for granted what you will be hit with next.<br /><br />I know this is not very interesting but I record these things for the book's sake.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-89480867279237457662008-11-27T10:16:00.000-08:002008-11-27T11:26:19.515-08:00Writing Prometheus<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSK72VsSV9IHl8VYSFevN6m4LUzr9L0O5cTdwGKLTYB9M9RiLZJj66IuF7RLaHCaXjjyEdDhScb4PBE10C1XyuuWrmKfFn2F_F8rgoA4-keeeyQrEGJMv4D8gxO6vuhNArhJEBS5qfND6X/s1600-h/drawing_hands%5B1%5D.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 273px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSK72VsSV9IHl8VYSFevN6m4LUzr9L0O5cTdwGKLTYB9M9RiLZJj66IuF7RLaHCaXjjyEdDhScb4PBE10C1XyuuWrmKfFn2F_F8rgoA4-keeeyQrEGJMv4D8gxO6vuhNArhJEBS5qfND6X/s320/drawing_hands%5B1%5D.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5273420733162664738" /></a><br />For sometime I have been pondering on how to portray Prometheus. He is a God after all. And who knows what they are? To make such a figure grounded and believable will be tricky. <br /><br />Technically, I have decided to approach him as if he were me. Don't worry this is not delusions of grandeur. What I mean is, an author. In a way I am a god to the characters in the book. Like Prometheus I create them and decide there fate. Prometheus is therefore the embodiment of me in the book. He would be able to do all the things that I can in a book. Alter scenes, people, things, himself. This echos the ability gods have in myths to transform. He also knows the plot. (He's not called, forethought, for nothing)<br /><br />Of course there must be limits to these powers. When a character in a book begins to get a life of its own, even the author is limited by what you can do with them, because they have there own momentum. They can even alter the expected outcome. Prometheus will also be limited by his his damaged liver and lack of energy. <br /><br />Does this make sense? <br /><br />As for Prometheus's character I need to do more reading I feel. However there are characteristics which are already evident to me. Arrogant, mischievous, loving, burdened, selfless. (How you can be arrogant and selfless I don't know yet he does display both traits. He wants to be the Alpha God; hence the antagonism with Zeus, But will endure incredible sacrifice for Man.) <br /><br />Anyway these are my thoughts so far. More to comeRichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-53274596999344188042008-11-23T12:07:00.000-08:002008-11-23T12:40:25.913-08:00Week 10As week nine comes to a close I can congratulate myself for enduring a fifth of my treatment. Things have certainly settled down since the beginning. My nausea is almost gone, the tiredness bottomed out, and mentally I seem to be coping. I just wish each day, each week, would be more predictable, but that now seems unlikely. <br /><br />Last week I suffered with aches and pains in my bones. Very flu like. This had not been much of a problem before. The sore throat I have had for weeks is getting worse including ulcers. In fact the whole of my ears, nose and throat are unwell. I sneeze all the time. And all the nose blowing has now led to nose bleeds. All of this I can cope with if I have some energy occasionally. I have not been very good keeping up with my factor 8 injections to stop my bleeding. Not that I am doing a great deal of running around to encourage bleeds. In fact I cannot think of a single bleed since starting treatment, which has got to be good news.<br /><br />The family seem to have come to terms with it all very well too. We have had our tough moments, and yet, in some strange way, the process is making us even closer.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-90971788582932508922008-11-12T13:34:00.000-08:002008-11-16T05:45:35.452-08:00Introducing Heather Clay<div>It has occurred to me that Prometheus, possibly more than any mythic figure, represents Life. Specifically Human Life. Having considered this whilst pondering on what the theme of my book should be, I have concluded it too should be about Life. Quite a challenge.<br /><br />At last I have chosen a name for the female character. I decided my initial ideas were too prosaic, too mannered. She represents all of us. Human beings that is. So I felt she needed a more ordinary name. Hence my decision to call her, Heather.<br /><br />As for the surname Clay - that's what we are meant to have been moulded from before being given the breath of life. <br /><br />Heather is a medic in her troop. Though slight in build she is wiry, resilient, bright and bold. <br /><br /><br />I have also been toying with titles for the book. Such as:<br />The Spark. A Life of Its Own. and Prometheus Found. </div>Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-6320359105347559342008-11-10T09:12:00.000-08:002008-11-21T04:45:10.791-08:00Not Dead Yet!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvT7nj2k49v_Nh5wovxQjk9eLuCU3Rn_Ghjk8aW4CgbPJ68o8ntjTSylG-ZY9YXcsQos6xJ3iym5bqCYWCl9yZMx4n4MMjcLxIGMYDGruCeVqhGQelo5Ie0nxFfulVz0IwxAUiwKeCVzrO/s1600-h/prometheusSmallside_wm-763275%5B1%5D.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 318px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvT7nj2k49v_Nh5wovxQjk9eLuCU3Rn_Ghjk8aW4CgbPJ68o8ntjTSylG-ZY9YXcsQos6xJ3iym5bqCYWCl9yZMx4n4MMjcLxIGMYDGruCeVqhGQelo5Ie0nxFfulVz0IwxAUiwKeCVzrO/s320/prometheusSmallside_wm-763275%5B1%5D.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5267093055908597970" /></a> Apologise for the last entry seeming so dark. In fact I was not feeling down or anything morbid, I was genuinely interested in whether this experience of ebbing away had a parallel during death. Thanks for kind words. <br /><br />As I have been unable to write with any focus, I have been concentrating on thinking and imagining my stories. Two days ago I, at last, cracked the ending of, Mr. Reed. It had been vexing me for sometime. Suddenly a simple solution totally in character, and plot, came to me. Now all I need is to write it!<br /><br />Regarding Prometheus. I am itching to write something. I have scenes in my head I would love to put onto paper. In particular the moment when the soldier's find Prometheus. I keep thinking what a strange thing it would be for a female soldier to discover this massive god lying there naked. When I consider how I would feel if I came across goddess lying naked before me my imagination naturally goes into overdrive. Despite the oddness of the situation there would have to be some kind of sexual tension there for the woman. This perfect specimen of manliness is also in distress, he needs her help. So, she would also feel compassion for him and be protective. <br /><br />Then I need to consider how would the male troop members react? Rude jokes, black humour. Taking the Mick out of the woman. Despite any japes they would have to be practical. They are on a mission after all and have to work out a way of releasing Prometheus. Will they believe him when he tells them a giant eagle will be coming soon?<br /><br />As you can see it is all ripe with possibilities.<br /><br />I have decided to do it in third person. I do not have the confidence to write from either Prometheus or the woman's voice. How to begin the book is proving more elusive. I want to set up the rocky terrain, the weather, the atmosphere. Give a little background to the characters in the troop etc. But I don't want it to feel like all I'm trying to do is get to the discovery of Prometheus. The initial journey has got to have merit within itself. Despite having done little research on Prometheus and female soldiers. I think I may try a few sketches and see where it takes me.<br /><br />Now wasn't that a cheery blog to set before the king? :)Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-68642932338576754632008-11-08T08:18:00.000-08:002008-11-08T09:03:40.757-08:00Back To The Sea<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgOiWqgIfcURSxXcc22p-VTrgIfqnug5wbxSIln4KgO6sT0ET-6NeotQ2zegrR4M2uGz_JhdrsjriflfCC96SjA0xj9JQfvOiv8NixTntibA38c_5StDXOM7V1EGAs-opOauT_ccICl2Me/s1600-h/lovely-wave-sun-reflection%5B1%5D.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgOiWqgIfcURSxXcc22p-VTrgIfqnug5wbxSIln4KgO6sT0ET-6NeotQ2zegrR4M2uGz_JhdrsjriflfCC96SjA0xj9JQfvOiv8NixTntibA38c_5StDXOM7V1EGAs-opOauT_ccICl2Me/s320/lovely-wave-sun-reflection%5B1%5D.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5266333439105787938" /></a><br />Been a tougher week than I had hoped. After the usual bad days (Mon-Tue) I expected to bounce back. On Wednesday, though a little dazed, I did manage to do a few things. Yet since Thursday I have had precious little energy. I am sleeping a great deal. Once, I would have become negative about this, but now I see it as a potentially good thing. My body is clearly still fighting the dreaded virus. <br /><br />That said, the psychological challenges are hard. As I have discussed before, not being able to 'do' gives one's ego a real bashing. No bad thing one might immediately think, but the issue goes deeper. If one does not have the energy to invest in displaying one's personality, what do you become? You are like a wave at the end of its ebb; sinking back into the sea. I wonder if this is what dying feels like?Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-73461798418963855802008-11-01T08:28:00.001-07:002008-11-01T08:32:45.706-07:00The PurgeI have not mentioned the result of my 4 week test. My viral load has dropped from 4.6 million to 1.8 million. This is good news. The challenge now is to get it down to 0 by my 12 week test. This was one of the reasons why I was determined to up my treatment regime. <br /><br /><br />I have been wondering how the interferon actually eliminates the virus and actually gets it out of the body. I presume the virus is removed from the body either whole or broken up somehow. It makes me realise that this is a purge. Last week my nurse was saying that the virus is not just in the liver but everywhere in the body. This I suspected. This is why the treatment is so long, to ensure the interferon kills every last virus in every cell that it can, because if there is any left it will simply multiply and return. So it is clear to me that I have to help this killing and purging process. It seemed evident to me that my quest to feel “back to normal” while on the drugs was wrong thinking. The body is going into a particular “abnormal” mode, in order to eliminate the virus - as with flu. This process needs to be embraced. Also I need to aid the interferon getting to every cell of my body so it can do its stuff. This is why I must not put too much additional pressure on my liver by consuming too much crap. Keep relaxed. Do not overuse my precious energy. Exercise and massage to get the blood moving into the cells. Saunas and skin brushing to help the skin eliminate toxins. Well, that’s the idea. Lets see if my legendary procrastination will rear its ugly head.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-59167866144029145322008-11-01T08:00:00.000-07:002008-11-05T06:24:27.203-08:00The French Trip<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3VmmZsh-DlCOLaHrGNjKr1EyEbVpMEKuPNJw2XUbxJxGJa2nEaaD37M93fS24EvaZsHZHZe0wOsRuar96WAgecLz2iPyrmtoIhCnC6pthaktApUnNZysw39CM1tqX8FCo9mJll1jtUVah/s1600-h/IMG_1438.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3VmmZsh-DlCOLaHrGNjKr1EyEbVpMEKuPNJw2XUbxJxGJa2nEaaD37M93fS24EvaZsHZHZe0wOsRuar96WAgecLz2iPyrmtoIhCnC6pthaktApUnNZysw39CM1tqX8FCo9mJll1jtUVah/s320/IMG_1438.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265177140532465570" /></a><br />Just got back from La Belle France. Hence three new posts. Wish I had read Chris's comments on previous post before leaving. Explanation will beome clear when you read the following log I made during the trip.<br /><br />AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!<br /><br />Arrived in France Thursday after a very pleasant journey. My fears of coping seemed to have been premature. Tired but happy I begin to unpack. It is then I discovered I had forgotten my Interferon injection pen. I couldn’t believe it. I searched through my case over and over - no, it was not there. As the medication has to be in the fridge I knew I had to leave it till the last minute to pack. Even so, to have left it completely is ridiculous. It is naturally important to keep the Hep C treatment as consistent as possible. I began to beat myself up with admonishment, aware this is going to have consequences. I speak to L. She tries to calm me down and promises to post the pen. I found it hard to get to sleep. <br /><br />Today, Friday, has not turned out how I had hoped. Instead of visiting the local supermarket and mooching around I have to drag my Mum and B to the local hospital. L spoke to St Thomas’s Haemo centre in London and they said they would try to fax a prescription to the hospital here in Montmorrilion. All went well. I received a letter explaining all. The hospital said the pharmacy in the town would have the medication. It was lunch by this time and the pharmacies were closed. So off to Hyper U for shopping and a pancake. After lunch we visit three chemists. None of them had the medication. I was not surprised; its hardly paracetamol. One of them was kind enough to let me know that if they did have it, it would cost 222 euros. Certainly gave my French a good work out. <br /><br />We went back to the hospital. They now explain it cannot be got in Montmorrilion and that I will need to visit the nearest city hospital in Poitiers. By this time I am stressed and weepy over the whole ordeal and cannot bear the thought of anymore driving. I will have to wait for the Interferon Pen L sent to arrive. Even though it has been sent next day delivery (£35 !) they don’t think it will arrive till Tuesday. This is not good news as it will mean, not only that the medication will be late, but I will now be in the middle of my worst reaction days when we are travelling back to Blighty. <br /><br />The thing that upsets me the most, is the amount of work I have caused others. Particularly L. <br />Oddly, despite this trauma, the usual side effects are minimal. I am actually feeling quite human. This may simply be adrenaline, I am not sure. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilAJCUUL_6bgV6x_NVDEumeQDwAfZwahVOgtO6tEtFRLGxFWeE9nWzk9X_192daCRSVH0F_FlsCxcapbIGehutmZY_Gm-vLP88aRCTM-FlejsAH2cCMNOfJlg1Z15hP0Wt7m8iB-O0Jw9e/s1600-h/IMG_1442.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilAJCUUL_6bgV6x_NVDEumeQDwAfZwahVOgtO6tEtFRLGxFWeE9nWzk9X_192daCRSVH0F_FlsCxcapbIGehutmZY_Gm-vLP88aRCTM-FlejsAH2cCMNOfJlg1Z15hP0Wt7m8iB-O0Jw9e/s320/IMG_1442.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265177753219374866" /></a><br /><br />Sunday.<br /> <br />Went for Sunday lunch at a local restaurant. It lasted three hours, which was an hour too long for me. The noise etc started getting to me. Had a nice time overall though my main meal was odd. It was Roasted Biche (Doe a deer) covered in brown spicy sauce which bore a remarkable resemblance to HP sauce. I wont try that again.<br /><br /><br />Monday Morning<br /><br />The medication arrived at 10am. Hooray. I have my injection straight away - only 12 hours late. Much relieved, I spend the day in bed resting. Mum and B look after me. Got up at sunset and went for a lovely walk with Mum. It was all misty and moody. Hope you like the pics. <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk19u8iOXYyMe-P8sIX_OiePa4gEmioGzuSNdfe98b0bAb0gnwCRg2BaIMH4h-0tnkc3WVvur78UL0By9TmhEjTiQbZvZLWGDR1hB5svsTdXKRAebdcJLpF3jB20BGx_jd2b3AqkwQ8pRE/s1600-h/IMG_1453.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk19u8iOXYyMe-P8sIX_OiePa4gEmioGzuSNdfe98b0bAb0gnwCRg2BaIMH4h-0tnkc3WVvur78UL0By9TmhEjTiQbZvZLWGDR1hB5svsTdXKRAebdcJLpF3jB20BGx_jd2b3AqkwQ8pRE/s320/IMG_1453.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265178757703351586" /></a><br />Thursday.<br />Sad to Leave France. Everyone who lives in our little hamlet is so friendly and kind. Trip home was tough. Mum and I both suffering with colds. L suprised me by meeting us at our arrival in London which was great.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300119842917266064.post-87698738806231019192008-10-21T05:13:00.000-07:002008-11-01T07:58:42.885-07:00Celtic Betrayal<a href="http://www.mythicalireland.com/mythology/tuathade/lugh.gif"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 225px; height: 287px;" src="http://www.mythicalireland.com/mythology/tuathade/lugh.gif" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Okay I have to admit to considering myself a Celt. I know many cry its a spurious definition, but it's dear to me. I am particularly attracted to Celtic myths and legends. It irks to live in a Celtic country where children are taught more about Greek and Norse and Indian and African myths, before the wonders of Finn MacCall, the Lugh, Mannann etc.<br />Now I come to my point. I feel a small sense of betrayal for embarking on a tale about a Greek God. I wish there was a Celtic equivalent; there so often is, but I do not recall one. So Greek it must be. <br /><br />As a sop to my conscience I have decided to give the female soldier a Celtic name. My short list is as follows. Betha=life(Scottish) Mab=Happy (Irish queen of the Faerie) Nia=champion (welsh) Oona=One (Irish) If you have any preference let me know.Richhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15114002787185188948noreply@blogger.com3