Wednesday, January 7, 2009

End of Chapter One

Well, that's it then. Treatment is over. I saw my nurse, discussed all the ins and outs and, despite my viral load steadily reducing, my Log Number was way too low. As their Hep C expert said in his email, 'continued treatment would be futile.'

Having invested so much in this process I am naturally very disappointed. I recall at the beginning of researching Prometheus the issue of false hope arose. Now I understand it more deeply. It is odd how the mind creates all these unrealistic expectations. Even since finishing treatment I have had thoughts saying, 'The viral load is really low, perhaps I can clear it completely without the drugs from here, that would be one-in-the-eye of the doctors.' I guess its good to be positive, but one wonders where madness lays.

Now, I need to be monitored to see what the long term effects of this treatment will be. At least I have learnt this form of treatment is of no benefit to me. Of course, there are rumours of new treatments coming along that may help me. I expect at some point in the not too distant future I will be going through all this again. Dare I hope for a positive outcome someday? As Chris commented, this is only success postponed. Though I am aware my age is against me.

Speaking personally, I just want to get my life back. This difficult process has made me value living much more. It is clear my health is unlikely to ever improve much. This is the fittest I will ever be, so I need to enjoy it while I can. As long as my liver holds out I am determined to experience and enjoy this world.

As for the blog, I feel this is only the end of Chapter One. I will concentrate on the development of the novel until the new treatments come along. My normal Hep C state is at least better than being on Interferon, so hopefully I should begin to write more. Completing 'Mr. Reed' and 'Prometheus' has become even more important for me. They will be something worthy of leaving behind.

To everyone who has read and commented on the blog so far. Your support has been invaluable. I cannot express how grateful I am for it. I will try to continue to make the blog of some interest to you.

May Fate be kind to you all and Evolution bless your offspring.

This is not The End my friends.



Chris Vacano said...

Hi Rich,

I'm glad to hear that you're keeping a positive outlook, despite the disappointment of this setback. New treatment options are certainly on the way, and even though this round wasn't successful in the way we had all hoped, you've bought yourself some time and eased the pressure on your liver by beating the virus back. It's important to remember this.

I'm heartened, too, to hear that you see this as only chapter one... I think you're right. I'll keep an eye on your blog to see how things are going, and will hopefully be there to cheer you on through round two. :)

Be well!

pixie said...
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Debi said...

And wherever the road takes you and whatever the next chapter holds, you know we are journeying by your side and love and value you for the very special man you are.