Saturday, November 8, 2008

Back To The Sea

Been a tougher week than I had hoped. After the usual bad days (Mon-Tue) I expected to bounce back. On Wednesday, though a little dazed, I did manage to do a few things. Yet since Thursday I have had precious little energy. I am sleeping a great deal. Once, I would have become negative about this, but now I see it as a potentially good thing. My body is clearly still fighting the dreaded virus.

That said, the psychological challenges are hard. As I have discussed before, not being able to 'do' gives one's ego a real bashing. No bad thing one might immediately think, but the issue goes deeper. If one does not have the energy to invest in displaying one's personality, what do you become? You are like a wave at the end of its ebb; sinking back into the sea. I wonder if this is what dying feels like?


Chris Vacano said...

Hang in there Rich. You're reading this right, I think... the drugs are scouring for the last little bit of virus, and at the same time, what little bit there is is mounting it's last spirited defense. This is a rough patch, but I'm confident for you that it will pass.

While you may not have the energy now to "do" much... maybe not even write... pay close attention to what you're feeling. This period could well help define the middle of your story arc... or more precisely, the second act.

Be well.

Debi said...

Yes. And look, the sun is shining on that wave.

It hasn't died, it's just regrouping and drawing on the energy to return to the shore. xxx