Delusive Hope

One of the biggest things to get a handle on in the face of any treatment like this, is Hope. Clearly, understandably, anyone going on such treatments will fear the suffering they must endure. But worse than this is the fear that, despite the hardship, the process will fail. Hope is what keeps you going. I know I must be positive. I know I must wish myself well. But I also know I need to be realistic. Need to accept it may fail. It is a very delicate balancing act.

As I expected when I began this project, I have discovered parallels in the Promethean story. In revenge for Prometheus taking fire to man, Zeus orders the making of the first woman - Pandora. As we all know it was she who opened the jar in which Prometheus had imprisoned all the Spites that might plague mankind. However, along with Old Age, Sickness, Vice etc, which we would expect, is Delusive Hope. It is her lies that discourages mankind from general suicide. It's quite a sobering story. Hope a Spite? Would we really resort to suicide if it were not for the urgings of Hope? Is there something illusory about it?

Perhaps, it is more helpful to think of being positive rather than hopeful. Being positive is more in the moment, being hopeful has a taste of grasping for a desired future about it. A wanting if you will. Positive thinking is essential for a better life. I know from experience that a negative view of life just attracts more negativity and suffering. In the past, when ever I have been down and blue I have just suffered more bleeds and more pain. It is so easy to dwell on the negative things especially when you are ill. But I just don't let myself go there anymore because I know it will only make things worse. It whispers self pity in my ear but I turn away.