Felt pretty good yesterday. Went shopping and survived. Though it was rather tough at the end. I got all flustered and confused at the till which was a little demeaning. You always feel so pressured to get your shopping packed and pay as quick as possible. I happened to have a new bank card - but not the new PIN, so my brain just became confused, I could not think what to do. I had plenty of other cards, but I just stood there. Eventually I gave one over and all was fine, but I hate the experience of trying to think and nothing will come. I have had it many times before, particularly when the Hep C was bad. At the moment I think the drugs are responsible. They rob you of energy.
We like to think we only have one brain but such experiences clearly indicate we have more than one. When you are ill your 'body brain' takes over. It insists on you resting because it knows its what the body requires. Even though your 'intellectual brain' protests, it has no power. If the 'body brain' says, stay in bed, you are a fool to ignore it. You see people who abuse the intelligence of the bodies. They push them to breaking point and wonder why they become seriously ill. One of the consequences of having Haemophilia, or any other chronic condition for that matter, is that you learn to listen to what your body is telling you.
That's why, today I am taking it easy. I feel rough. I don't know if its the second peak I hear mentioned in forums, but I am taking no risks. May go out for a cup of tea in the sun with a mate later. That's got to be enriching surely?
Just one other thing, I have had a couple of experiences of mild elation. Particularly this morning. I think I have been dreading this process for soooo long that now its here and I am not feeling too bad I become excited. The fact that I am at last trying to fight off this damn virus makes me feel empowered somehow. I was singing like a lunatic while washing up this morning. This is not the reaction I expected at all! : )
You live and learn.